The man exited the confessional, said his prayers, and walked toward the poor box. After pausing briefly, he started to leave. The observing priest quickly approached him and said, “I saw that! You didn’t put any money in the poor box!” The man responded, “But I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!”

A married man went into the confessional and told his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman.” The priest asked, “What do you mean, almost?” The man explained, “We got undressed and rubbed against each other, but then I stopped.” The priest replied, “Rubbing together is the same as having intercourse. You must not see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box.”