When my kids started coming home sick after visits with their grandmother, Eileen, I brushed it off at first. But deep down, I felt uneasy. Nathan, my husband, always downplayed my concerns, saying, “It builds character.”
One Saturday, I dropped Alex and Ben at Eileen’s house and headed home, only to realize I had forgotten their bag. When I returned, I heard Eileen through the open window, instructing the boys to do push-ups in the freezing cold, wearing nothing but their underwear. My heart sank. I rushed inside, demanding an explanation. Eileen, unbothered, claimed it was to “build character,” insisting I was too soft on them. “They need to be strong,” she said. My boys’ faces were red from the cold, and it broke my heart.
On the way home, I asked what usually happened at Grandma’s. Alex explained, “We have to sleep with the windows open, do exercises, and only get extra food or blankets if we do well.” Ben added, “Grandma says it makes us strong like Dad.”
When we arrived home, Nathan was confused about our early return. I confronted him, furious. To my shock, he defended his mother’s methods, saying it’s how he was raised. “It made me resilient,” he said. But I couldn’t agree. “This is not discipline, Nathan. This is abuse,” I replied, determined to put an end to it. Nathan seemed conflicted, but I was clear: our children’s health and well-being had to come first, no matter his upbringing.